I didn’t mean for this post to cause a bunch of arguing in the comments =(
I thought this was just some gallows humor (e.g. “Everything’s lovely except that I have to fear for my safety all the time”) type of shitpost that sounded similar to comments I’ve heard from women irl a lot.
As a girl, I love taking walks in the evening/night or early in the morning, they really are a vibe! However if there’s a man who appears to be following behind me, I always grab my keys in my pocket to be ready to fight in case he tries anything. I will also text friends/family when I’m going out and text them when I arrive back home.
I’m disappointed in Lemmy and lemmings, I thought we left this shit in Reddit. Can someone lock this dumpsterfire of a comment section already?
My god, I am a cis male and I don’t feel threatened or targeted by this. I think there’s a reason why certain men feel attacked.
Bears win again
Random woman: I like late night walks, but I’m scared for my safety.
This thread for some reason: YOU DON’T THINK MEN GET SCARED? MURDERED!?
Like, chill. Yes, men can absolutely be murdered/hurt walking alone. But are we really going to sit here and act like women are making up their concerns/grievances out of spite? For some reason, if anyone mentions a general concern/issue related to women’s experiences with men, some people trip over themselves to say how it’s actually not an issue and how it’s actually so much worse for men. If I’m listening to a male DV victim and I go, “well, actually, women are more likely to be victims of DV. You know, it’s actually not even an issue for you. Here, look at these numbers that prove that women are the victims. Do you not mention it because you hate women? Why are you trying to ruin our spotless reputation as delicate flowers that can do no wrong with your lies”, you would think I was nuts, and for good reason.
I blame women.
For not murdering enough. The streets would be safer if men had the same fear.
I blame women.
😡🍴
For not murdering enough
😮💨👍
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I mean, most women probably have experience with cleaning up blood.
I wonder if that’s throwing off the statistics.
ive had 2 (and a half) nosebleeds this week, can confirm.
(I’m fine it’s just the dry+cold weather)Cold weather plus cocaine has that effect
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I too support women in men-dominated fields
I blame women.
For not murdering enough. The streets would be safer if men had the same fear.
Men are killed more often. But men generally have less fear. We go boldly unto death.
who’s killing the men?
Predominantly other men. But that doesn’t make it ok.
Relax, David, you might get attacked or killed on your way back from work, but I don’t feel sympathy, because it’d probably be done by another man.
The reality is anybody can feel unsafe at night, and everyone is valid in thinking so. Women generally feel more threatened because, despite being far less likely to be targeted, they’re also far less likely to be able to resist their attacker, which is also very reasonable.
i didn’t say it makes it okay or that i’m not sympathetic. this thread is full of “but what about men tho” takes to discredit the fear women reasonably have of being attacked by men. they don’t have to worry about women nearly as much. the original post stands true regardless of whether or not men are also affected, which they are, and perhaps they should consider doing something about it instead of just dismissing the concern all together because it came from a woman.
Victim blaming.
when you totally know what words mean
That’s not being bold, that’s supression of risk assesment and reduction on consequence sensitivity. Brought on by testosterone.
Psychopaths can’t feel fear
Wow calling for the death of innocent people based on gender.
The fuck is wrong with Lemmy upvotng this.
its a joke fella.
I’m thinking more of a voluntary program.
That shadowm’n on her 1am walk is gonna go away quickly if I’m with her and she ices me right there in the Applebee’s parking-lot 🫠 she’s allowed to do it. It happens all the time…
I wouldn’t say I love murdering, but it is a neat little hobby to pass the time.
Just one little murder… As a treat.
Luigi: “Treat yoself!”
That’s not murder, it’s defense of innocents
I mean, it’s both.
People really need to get out of their head about illegal=immoral.
Luigi is the Robinhood of our times.
I’ve earnt it this week!
#selfcare #mindfulness
I hear some people get over the cravings with a homicide patch.
Would you like to join my Hobby-Murder-Group? We meet twice a Month to drink, smoke and play MarioParty and murder of course.
Getting your star stolen in MarioParty is probably the leading cause for most of the murders.
No those are suicides.
I’m trying to cut down myself.
Gotta admit, I do love me some murderin’
If you see something like this and get angry at women, you have a problem.
At best it’s a problem with reading comprehension. At worst, you’re worried that things like this could get in the way of your murdering-women hobby.
This also depends on what kind of roads you have to walk on - highways suck for nighttime walks, because not only are you constantly on edge to try not to get run over, you also need to walk for miles to get anywhere.
Suburbs are nicer, but the best is to walk in a park, but that raises your chances of getting murdered by a lot so idk
I don’t know where I was going with this. I lost my train of thought.
Easy solution: bring a bear. Much less chance of being murdered, and the bear gets to shit in the woods. Well, park, but close enough.
Instructions unclear, hid roadkill bear in Central Park
Until your bear meets RFK jr in the park
Easy solution: live in a safe country! We have no fears of night walks in Canada.
Unless you’re indigenous, then there’s a risk…
In all of Canada? Every city? All of Toronto and Vancouver? Wow I’m impressed that rape, murder and assault never happen there.
Are you 12 fucking years old?
No, just old enough to realize speaking in platitudes makes people look like ignorant idiots
Compared to the US, yes it is much much safer here. I would be scared to walk late night downtown ANYWHERE in US cities. Here, that’s never been a problem.
Where do you get your reference points from? Social media? Movies? Shows? Or personal experience from walking in lots of downtowns? These statements just reek of not first-hand knowledge to me and just “oooh crime ridden OTHER places” Sure crime exists, but it’s the broad strokes that make me disregard statements like that. I’ve been to plenty of very safe downtowns in various corners of America, to say ANY US city is insane.
I’m going out on a limb and saying you’re not a woman. There’s no place on earth I could say I’d never feel unsafe walking alone at night. Although I’m less nervous in my own neighborhood in Los Angeles, just because it’s familiar.
I did delve into your history to check before I spoke. I now know a lot more about Myanmar, (which was fascinating and took me so far back into your posts as to get creepy, my apologies ) and the NFL, and btw you’re doing great at adding content to Lemmy, but the only posts about women’s issues were the Toronto Tempo and one about abortion pill access that’s consistent with your sound views on the present shithole US administration, and you didn’t add any personal comments to.
That’s kinda creepy. I don’t have to go out on a limb to say you’ve never been to Canada while I’ve been to the biggest cities in the US. I live in Toronto. While I am a man I know a lot of women in my life who walk at night DOWNTOWN. And nobody would tell them they are insane to do that. It’s not an issue here. It behooves me that you all assume the world is like the US. It isn’t. Yes there are bad places to not walk at night - certain ghettos for instance, or a certain small city in the prairies with a reputation. The large ones - Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal in most parts are safe for both genders. Come and visit us sometime. Summer is better.
I have been to Canada twice, Quebec and Toronto, and I wouldn’t walk alone at night in either.
Edit: I guess I would if I absolutely HAD to, but I’d be uncomfortable as fuck about it. And I wonder if your female friends are as casual about it as you believe.
The 184 murdered Canadian women of 2024 might disagree with you. Especially Indigenous women, 24% of the total. Of course some were murdered by their husbands/partners, probably not out walking, but the majority were killed by strangers or mere acquaintances.
This comment isn’t about violence against women comment. This is about safety of walking at night in cities. So just because I say it’s much safer to walk at night in Canada DOES NOT MEAN I AM DENYING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN DOESN’T EXIST. Sheesh the logic of some.
Cops even take you on starlight tours. So safe.
Nah you’re just sheltered.
Are you saying living in a safe country is bad? o.0
No I’m saying people get murdered in Canada, your experience isn’t everyones.
I haven’t been murdered in the U.S., that doesn’t mean people don’t get murdered.
My suburb neighborhood is filled with walkers and it is super unsafe at night. They decided when they built it that they didn’t want to to create and maintain sidewalks and street lamps, so people always walk in the road and the only lights are the lamp posts at the end of people’s driveways. And almost nobody wears reflectives, or carries lights or anything on their person. Particularly when you’re blinded by an oncoming car’s lights, it’s nearly impossible to see people until you’re right up on them.
It’s so stupid and shortsighted. Living environments are not just the inside of our homes - it includes the outside, the neighbourhood, and the options you have to travel in and out of there. All of this together decide your quality of life inside your home.
Don’t for a second think it’s by accident. This was done to make areas less accessible to ‘undesirables’. After builders and realtors were told to stop forcing PoC into specific areas, they just went ahead and built suburbs that you basically had to have a car to access, ensuring poorer people were kept out.
but the best is to walk in a park, but that raises your chances of getting murdered by a lot so idk
Is this a vibes-based take of do you actually have any stats on the matter?
Fwiw, the best is hands down a walk in a still kind of crowded city center. Few things bring as much security as eyes on the street
That’s your problem. You’re supposed to be walking, not riding a train…
In the US walking outside is generally terrible even in the suburbs.
You’ll be fine if you just keep away from Assault Av., Murder Blvd., Rape roundabout and Stabbing St.
/S
That sucks man. I love night walks too, especially through secluded areas and when it’s super dark, overcast and windy. There is something very enjoyable and exhilarating about being outside, invisible and unnoticed in a busy world. I feel bad that you don’t get to enjoy that.
Come to Finland, safe to walk at night
I like to do a fun exercise every time I read something like this.
Swap the word for who you are accusing with some other group. If this make the statement distasteful then the statement is distasteful in it’s orginal form.
The Left like to blame men, the right like to blame immigrants so for example: “it’s a shame immigrants love to commit murder”.
Why is it okay to say men love to murder but not immigrants?
lemmy.world mods finding out that they’ve cultivated a community of reddit incels:
This from a user on an instance that’s known for their open villification of any opinion that goes against the moscow and beijing dictated groupthi–
Wait, wait hold on. Could it possibly be that we both have deeply subjective views of the other large instances, because humans fall to tribalism faster than a kitten on a sock full of catnip? Maybe there’s a vested interest on every side to keep the early adopters of a decentralized social media platform infighting over meaningless stereotypes based on the letters that come after their username, making value judgements based entirely on dictated preconceptions instead of experiential conclusions and honest interaction?
… nah, probably not. And besides, it’s way more fun to just sling mud. Screw u, u commie scuzbucket.
SJW here and I just wandered in, but now I’m grabbing the popcorn and a seat
Could it possibly be that we both have deeply subjective views of the other large instances, because humans fall to tribalism faster than a kitten on a sock full of catnip?
nope, it’s because your instance is operated by people who refuse to moderate disinformation under some naive belief that enough debate bro-ing is all it takes to defeat it, failing to understand that the effort it takes to proliferate hate and disinformation is much smaller than the effort it takes to refute it. as such, lemmy.world is becoming overrun with some of the most toxic motherfuckers on the entire platform because all the sane people are being driven away.
Ah, a blanket denial of everything I said. How glad I am that I’m above petty things like pointing out the comically stereotypical behavior of users from other instances. It’s nice up here, on the Mountain of Sarcastic Moral Superiority.
As an actual counterpoint, the primary way that new users get onto lemmy is always going to have the highest concentration of toxic users. Society is, if you haven’t noticed, incredibly toxic. Commonly espoused ideas like trans people being human or civil rights being important aren’t commonly supported by society at large (source: the entire world right now). The easiest way for people who support those things to find their way to instances where those ideas are popularly held is to join the most popular instance and see both the need for other instances with heavier moderation, and what those instances are. How many people hear about blahaj or sh.itjust.works before signing up to lemmy, vs. sign up there as their second account? Personally, I’m pretty grateful that the most toxic opinions are largely self-segregated into a place where people aren’t required to interact with them. It’s less pleasant, sure, but it’s also the best place in the fediverse to get an accurate idea of what the real societal opinions are. And if it gets to be too much, I can always just flee .world (or .ml, I mean seriously guys) like a base coward and spend time under one of my alt accounts on a more heavily moderated instance like .blahaj instead.
that isn’t necessarily true though: you don’t see other popular instances of fediverse platforms having these problems when they actually put effort into enforcing rules that protect the community and discourage disinformation and hate speech, and it doesn’t make them any less of a gateway for new users.
the staff on lemmy.world promote disinformation, and that does not benefit any of us, especially when disinformation has a way of spreading that the separation of instances alone isn’t enough to prevent. most are still either directly federated to lemmy.world, or federated to instances that are federated to lemmy.world.
toxicity itself isn’t inherent to society but a consequence of how our current society is set up, and social media platforms that deliberately proliferate disinformation play a role in that. if you want to actually counter hate and disinformation the first step you should take is to stop outright encouraging it and fight it at the source.
also, implying people are cowards for wanting to flee your hate instance is despicable and privileged-ass take. fuck you.
also, implying people are cowards for wanting to flee your hate instance is despicable and privileged ass-take. fuck you.
That was pretty clearly self deprecating. Who in the hell calls someone else a ‘base coward’, anyways? For that matter, who would even take seriously being called a base coward? I think you might genuinely be treating everyone else as hostile as a means of self defense, which while understandable is in itself incredibly (edit: exhausting is a much better term) to interact with.
I have real comments here, along the lines of what you mean by promoting disinformation and the moderation standards you would prefer to see, because those are sincerely interesting. But come on, what’s the point in trying to have a discussion when you treat everything like an attack on you & yours? I’m not even trying to be hostile here.
it’s self-deprecating but has hostile implications toward the many users who really did leave to escape ill treatment toward them. marginalized people get enough of that in real life after all. i don’t think they should have to endure it at all, nor do i think it’s cowardly to want to avoid it. if i’m reading too much into this and that wasn’t your intention, i’m sorry. though i’m really not sure how else to interpret that.
when i say lemmy.world promotes disinformation, i’m referring to their recent announcement that they would require community moderators to entertain disinformation in the name of having open debate. they redacted that announcement following the backlash if i recall correctly, but it is nonetheless reflective of how they have been moderating things on their instance, which is apparent in threads like this one that stir the pot and bring out all the rabid misogynists that have been tolerated and continue to be tolerated on here. the lack of moderation toward these things aligns with what they stated in that announcement, that these are ideas we should be open and fair to.
the problem of course is that being open to disinformation alienates the marginalized people affected by it, harms the people who would be deceived by it, and only serves to benefit the people who would spread it. it’s a lot easier to fight disinformation and bigotry by stopping it at the source rather than letting it fester and then trying to take it down with debate. we all know how difficult it is to argue in good faith against those arguing in bad faith. it takes no time and no effort to just make something up, but more time and effort than most people even have the energy to give to refute it with fact-based evidence.
we’re in the midst of a social crisis with the rise of the incel movement and MRA influencers. those who follow these things are more emotionally invested in them than logically, and near impossible to get through to. you might be able to convince a few undecided readers if you put sufficient effort into your replies, but ultimately the spread of these movements are much faster than the handful of individuals who make an effort to stand against them. a lot of us just don’t even have the time. we need support from those who are in the position to actually take preventive measures against them.
I’m the last one to defend a tankie… But go fuck yourself.
Nah.
This from a user on an instance that’s known for having a large amounts of transphobic, homophobic, misogynist and racists users and a mod team that doesnt do the bare minimun to deal with them
… Then why are you here, participating with that which you revile?
because unfortunately lemmy.ml federates with lemmy.world. even if we were to block lemmy.world on an individual level, the toxicity and hate coming from it affects and influences users of other instances. better to push back against you dweebs whenever you try to incite misogynistic hate than just cover our ears and pretend you aren’t here fucking things up.
Oh good, we agree then. There’s a certain necessity to engage with opinions counter to our own instead of pretending they don’t exist, even if it’s personally uncomfortable to do so.
i counter them out of necessity, but ideally i’d rather the lemmy.world admins do that since that’s supposed to be what they’re for.
So you’d prefer the admins allow you to pretend they don’t exist? I know that’s not what you’re trying to say, but its not an unreasonable extrapolation of your position from the comments you’re making. You feel the need to fight for what you believe in because it’s right to stand up for what you believe in, but you would rather you didn’t have to. I think that’s probably the most universally agreeable statement I’ve ever heard, sincerely. I would, too, like for this to be the case. We just disagree on how to achieve that happy state of affairs, though it’s nice that neither of us prefers a solution like “round up all the .ml/.world users in a big camp” unlike, you know, real world opinions…
Where are you going where you see that much of it?
When the Reddit 2.0 copies all the worst parts of Reddit: 🤯
Well when you scrape the top layer of reddit mold, which is comprised of the most politically and socially charged individuals, and put them in one place, this is to be expected.
Let’s call “incels” to everyone that doesn’t think like us. Ok, you can call me that, but I will call you feminazi.
“feminazi” is literally incel terminology, and this thread is full of people spouting off literal incel rhetoric, but go off king
See? it’s terrible? keep calling “incels” to whoever you don’t agree. I will keep calling you feminazi because of thought imposition (very close to fascism).
what’s funny about this is that i didn’t call you an incel, you just assumed that when i said lemmy.world has cultivated a community of incels, that must include you (someone who isn’t even on their instance i might add)
i wonder why that is lmao
Oh the old reliable: “I just talk in general”. This only shows cowardly and lack of accountability of self actions. Oh fck I forgot, you lack of accountability for your actions, you are feminist so you think all your problems are caused by men.
oh no don’t get me wrong, i fully believe that you are also a massive fuckin’ incel, i just thought it was funny that i made you show your ass all on your own accord. 'cause deep down you know you fit the description.
yeah whatever you say GenderKKK
Reading the comments make me feel like I’m reading 4chan. How are people getting triggered by that post
