This made me laugh an unreasonable amount. I needed this after everything. Thank you.

As much as it was sad to see a lot of restaurants die during COVID, there were an awful lot of sushi abomination restaurants out there that I think we’re all better off without. I actually had to stop eating sushi for a few years because we would try to order sushi and it would just be disgusting. You’d get either 1 of 2 scenarios - it was some very gimmicky sushi that you’d never eat more than once, or it was gross because the quality just wasn’t up to par during lockdown. And sushi is unfortunately one of those foods that’s very unforgiving and if you have even 1 bad experience, you won’t be going back to that establishment. So I can see why a lot of them closed.

Don’t forget that eggs also come out the hole!! If you’ve ever seen fresh farm eggs before, you have to wash them before you use them because they’re covered in piss and shit. Yum!

There’s an excellent episode of the Sopranos where they end up going to Italy. And even though their whole personality is “Italian” they find that they have nothing in common with actual Italians. That show is a masterpiece.

It says posted 18 years ago, but I’m pretty sure this predates YouTube even. Now I feel old… gross.

My choices are AT&T and Comcast. Both are shitty and treat you equally shitty, but Comcast actually works most of the time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I used to fly united quite a bit and it used to be pretty good. But these days my options for flying for work are united, delta, and southwest and I usually choose delta because they don’t charge you for shit and you can have both an overhead carry on and a small bag plus free internet on the plane. In the end they’re all shit, but I’m going to pick the lesser of the shits each time. Same reason I have Comcast internet.

I always refused to put work apps on my personal phone because they would make you agree to some bullshit where they could remote access your phone or potentially wipe it. So I would refuse and say they needed to provide a company phone for me if it was that important. Most companies are either ok with this or provide a phone, except for one company. This was a software company, and literally everything else about this company was a unicorn of a job. But for some reason they wanted me to have slack on my phone and also wouldn’t give me a company phone. So I dug up an old phone, reset it to factory settings, and added slack to that so I could say I did it. Then I put the phone away and they never asked about it again. So I really don’t know what the point of that was 🤷

And then there’s you did everything you possibly could yourself and you did your best and saved tons of money, but now you actually do need to pay someone to do the thing you don’t trust yourself to do so you saved money just for the thing, but no contractor will agree to come do the thing because demand is high and they would rather do commercial projects. So yeah… You can’t even pay a pro and you’re just fucked 🤷

We still have one in Illinois but I’m not sure how it’s still holding on. Used to love going in there. Loads of specialized parts and equipment as well as staff that were super knowledgeable and helpful. But at least we have Microcenter now… Which is like if you took a Fry’s and scaled it down and made it work more like a car dealership 😭😭😭

SOMEBODY GET ME A JUMP ROPE STAT!!!

First sentence: wow I absolutely agree. It’s such a shame that mothers have to go back to work so soon after giving birth. We should work toward guaranteeing parental time off for all parents.

Second sentence: yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah… Um… Nevermind.

You ever drink Bailey’s from a shoe?

Do I look like I know what a JPEG is? I just want a picture of a got-dang hotdog!

DAAAAAMN DANIEL WITH THE WHITE VANS

I went to Meijer a week ago and saw they had a pallet of candy corn. I was like wow this early? And I bought a bag thinking it must be left over from last year or something, but no it was just the opposite. It was the freshest bag of candy corn I’ve ever eaten and it was very delicious. But it also made me realize that the reason I’m never getting fresh candy corn for Halloween is because they literally make it and ship it in late July/early August and then just let it sit there for 3 months until Halloween. But at least now I know when the best time is to buy candy corn… So there’s that.

This is a beautiful diagram. You should hang it on the fridge. The one with the beer

Eleven tenty one?

Rolie-polies!!!

“in seconds.” Ah yes, clearly the best point made for this product.