Hi all,

New to Lemmy and interested in hot straight men and chatting with them? Are there any active communities where this is possible?

I noticed a lot of porn (totally fine, just not for me) and some communities that are about celebrities.

Any recommendations? Thank you in advance!

  • commanderbalok@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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    5 months ago

    lol. I’m surprised you haven’t been inundated with replies of “I’m a hot straight man”

    Having said that…

    I’m a lukewarm mostly straight man

    • Beth-24F@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
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      5 months ago

      No, not at all. If anything I’ve gotten a few polite and friendly messages but nothing mean or arrogant (yet)

      I just don’t think there are that many users for NSFW communities to be super active.

      • commanderbalok@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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        5 months ago

        Yeah idk honestly. I came here to get a little kinky but have mostly just lurked and I’m guessing that’s most people. It does seem to be a pretty small community. I used to use Snapchat and I broadcast on Chaturbate infrequently but it seems hard to find what I’m looking for too - which used to a lot of trading nudes with people on Snapchat but they all disappeared

  • woefully_cylindrical_tablespoon@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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    5 months ago

    Hate to say it, but I don’t think Lemmy has the critical mass for a community of just hot dudes to hang out (if the OC is any indicator, it’d probably just be Nodachi talking to himself). Mostly of the community tends to lurk, it makes sense (there’s not a whole lot to spark a conversation over and no one wants to be the thirsty dude, at least not publicly), but it make the place feel pretty empty and inactive. Because it’s so quiet, here and NSFW chat are catch-alls for most conversation (on the bright side, posts with a comment or two tend to bubble into hot/ active fairly easily).

    With that out of the way… Hiya! I’ve always been more bookish than brawn; so probably not hot in the traditional sense, but if that’s not a deal breaker I’m not opposed to chatting.

    • Beth-24F@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
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      5 months ago

      Thanks a lot for your Interesting comment! I’m a bit taken aback by how civil people are compared to other places. Other than one dude asking me if I want him to show me his PP (weird, what are we, 5 years old? 🥴) chilling here hasn’t been stressful like other places, and I didn’t feel defensive yet.

      There is nothing wrong with being thirsty (I totally am at times 😁) but it just feels off if that comes out in a creepy or immature way.

      Bookish guys are interesting. Hi yourself 😊

      • woefully_cylindrical_tablespoon@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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        5 months ago

        Of course! Thanks for posting and responding such genuine interest; seeing such a lively comment section has been a breath of fresh air. Glad you’re enjoying the vibe (well, other than the one methane cloud of a dude).

        That’s a good way to put it (this is a NSFW community after all, if thirst isn’t the name of the game, its gotta be at least rule three). Probably part of the charm and civility of the community that folks would rather quietly hit the up arrow than risk coming across as coming across as creepy.

        😊I’ll take interesting (especially from you 😉)

  • JustS0m3Dud3@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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    5 months ago

    Via the Lemmy Explorer on lemmyverse.net, I found !chat@lemmynsfw.com but I do not know how much that is what you are looking for (I mean, it is not 1-on-1 and there are other people there than straight men as well).

    However, feel free to send me a direct message if you want to chat with me.

    • Beth-24F@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
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      5 months ago

      Hey hey thanks for your comment and for your help as well! I just checked it out but it doesn’t seem to be that active.

      It seems I overestimated NSFW and Lemmy. I think having a lot of of porn and naked women is interesting for male users, but also female users are curious about men and might also be interested in seeing a hot guy or two to start posting and to stay on Lemmy 🤫

      Can I really private message you? Thanks again for your reply.

      • demonologic@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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        5 months ago

        Benefits of being a lesbian 😅

        But yeah, lemmynsfw definitely can be a bit of a sausage fest. The Fediverse and Lemmy especially are niche enough that a lot of the users are techy types (like yours truly, heh) which does tend to still bring a gender bias with it.

        If you have the spoons for it, you could occasionally post the kind of stuff you’d like to see? It might feel like shouting into the void since yeah, not a lot of women here (probably more gay guys), but every change has to start somewhere, right?

        Might have to create and mod communities though, which is a whole 'nother can of worms if posting isn’t restricted

        • Beth-24F@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
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          5 months ago

          Thanks for your thoughts and recs 🙏

          Yeah I’m noticing myself that Lemmy has a lot of (techy) people around. Just curious because it’s a shame one website has monopoly over everything.

          I don’t think NSFW content is bad, I feel like in fact having different sections for NSFW posts makes community bigger because it attracts people.

          I did notice that a lot of people have “sex is dirty” mindset (elsewhere not here) and then they can get pretty rude and underhanded like anything goes because basically they associate sex with something dark and secretive.

          And I agree with you that in those instances having good mods is essential. It’s a fine line how to mod properly but not scare folks away.

          • demonologic@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
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            5 months ago

            I don’t think NSFW content is bad, I feel like in fact having different sections for NSFW posts makes community bigger because it attracts people.

            Yeah definitely! Porn / erotica has been a huge factor in the popularity of the whole internet, too. Like you said in your post, currently lemmynsfw is mainly specifically porn; it’s an “easier” format than more conversation-based stuff because Lemmy really doesn’t have critical mass yet and the majority of people just mainly lurk and don’t comment / post (like it is with any social network.) Contrast this to the fact that there’s smutty chat subreddits that have more users than the entirety of Lemmy 😅

            I did notice that a lot of people have “sex is dirty” mindset (elsewhere not here) and then they can get pretty rude and underhanded like anything goes because basically they associate sex with something dark and secretive.

            Ugh I get what you mean. Weirdly enough it feels like younger folks are a bit more in that mindset than us old farts, like attitudes have gotten more conservative instead of less when it comes to sexuality. Well, at least partially, there’s good things too of course.

            But yeah anyhow, could be that your best bet right now could be to try and be active on !chat@lemmynsfw.com (or others like it, I actually don’t know what the options are here for that stuff) like you’ve already done, try to strike up conversations? Might be a bit of a grind but you already managed to “activate” people a bit which is great!