I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.
Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.
During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.
Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.
I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)
I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.
So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?
I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.
I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don’t have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won’t work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV
Yeah, definitely the best way to get back that GBA/NDS feeling.
Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game? I find I get fatigued by how long some games can go on for whether it’s multiplayer like The Elder Scrolls Online or a sandbox game like Red Dead Redemption.
Maybe you could try something like GRIS? It’s a relaxing game with a neat art style that that only takes about 3 hours to beat.
I mentioned Gris in my comment too! I’m in love with that game and second your recommendation.
Have you played Outer Wilds by chance? I agree with many that it’s probably one of the best games ever made, and I can’t think of any game that better encapsulates what games should be capable of. It captures the magical potential of exploration and discovery like nothing else I’ve ever played. So many cool ideas waiting for you to figure out, and the process is just so fun.
Along those lines, I’ve just been growing fonder of smaller, indie-style games, which had never been my preference before now. Games like Gris, Little Nightmares, Hades (if you consider that “smaller”), Deliver Us the Moon have left a really positive impression. Many of them are imperfect, but I feel like there’s a lot of love tangible in those experiences. Maybe I’m just imagining that, but they lack the bloat that has disillusioned me with a lot of the bigger games lately, and they feel more purposeful in general.
If you haven’t, look through some lists of best indie games and see if anything jumps out at ya.
There are moments in Outer Wilds that left me grinning like a child. It hits at that same time of wonder I felt playing ocarina of time when I was very young
Exactly! There were other times that I don’t want to mention here cause I don’t know how to hide spoilers, where my fully adult mind too was thrilled by some of the revelations.
My girlfriend got me to play Outer Wilds and the first thing I did was try to fly into the sun and she was just staring at me like “why are you like this” while I was grinning like mad.
Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn’t just how often you choose to play - it’s also how much you’re expected to play.
I’m going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.
Personal moderation:
Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it’s not in a lasting way, they’re just more attainable.
It’s like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It’s easier, it’s pleasant, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it’s the only thing I’m doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally ‘sick’ (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.
This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don’t play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.
Gameplay moderation:
Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.
But now, you can’t. You’re an adult, you don’t have that time. And yet games aren’t being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)
You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there’s no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don’t feel as engaging.
That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it’s why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.
Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?
If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.
You’ll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They’re also cheap enough that it’s worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.
If somebody says a game is ‘only 6 hours of gameplay’, see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.
Try some chill single player games, ones that focus on a great story with no real difficulty. That helped a lot for me when I had a similar feeling.
Firewatch, the Life us Strange games, Road 96, Unravel, Superliminal to name a few.
I would add Far: Lone Sails to this!
Contrary opinion - it’s OK to give up hobbies you don’t enjoy any more.
Gaming was an important part of your life at one point. You remember it fondly because currently you are lacking something in your life, so you’re thinking - I used to enjoy gaming so I should enjoy it again.
Doesn’t work like that - people go through phases. Find what you enjoy now. Yes, maybe it’s gaming again. Maybe its something else - hiking, fixing motorcycles, partying … who knows. Experiment with activities until you find something that will make you burn again!
I agree with this, it’s ok to find something new. Maybe you’ll come back to gaming after a while.
FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone.
My partner does this.
One, you might have ADHD. I can’t say, but you could look into it.
Secondly, you need to have some time to let your brain rest. When you bounce between tasks like that, you’re never actually not doing something. People think of doomscrolling as taking a break, but really you’re replacing your intended task with another task and there isn’t a time where you do no task.
Definitely need to figure out if it is ADHD, depression, or a combination…
On your second point: I also need to work on this. I find myself constantly “doing something”. I’m listening to music while typing this; when I walk the dog, I’m listening to an audiobook or podcast. Same when I’m doing dishes or other chores. I rarely have “chill time” - or give myself that.
I wouldn’t recommend this with the sole reason being to get back into gaming. I started taking THC gummies and it is like being a kid again playing video games.
Haha exact opposite experience here. I started taking edibles and now I’d rather just scroll tiktok than commit to playing a game or watching a show
For me after some time away from PC gaming, getting a steam deck was one thing that got me back into it. The other thing though was definitely selecting relatively short games. I played a lot of open-ended games that I could never finish like rimworld or crusader kings, it was nice to get back into games with a beginning middle and end. And in the same vein it means I’ve been playing stuff that I was interested in playing back in the 2010s but didn’t really have the time/money/hardware for
The Forgotten City is the one that restored my hope in gaming.
I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Sounds to me like you’ve found peace in reading through tough times. Maybe that’s your new gaming. I personally bounce between things. Read for periods of time, then game, then watch movies/TV. Right now my infatuation is with the new Final Fantasy as I’ve been wanting a narrative driven game, and it’s satiating that craving so far. After I beat this game, I’m going into patient gamer mode for a while, and picking up my dormant guitar that’s sat for 10 years. I love music as well, so I want to up my game there and start to learn from scratch. If games fall by the wayside while I explore guitar then it’s okay, I will find my way back to them when something strikes my interest. Until then we must follow our urges and let them go where they may.
I can’t speak to being a step parent, I’m single and don’t desire a relationship right now so I have lots of free time. I just realized over the years that I also don’t want to look back and have all my time spent on one hobby that doesn’t leave much to show for.
I feel you man. Are you sure you’re nostalgic about gaming itself and not about a time when you were carefree? Maybe you just need to find back your balance. I’m an anxious person and the worst episode I’ve had lasted roughly a year. Sick leave and everything. No interest for gaming for even longer than that. Worked on myself, picked up the pieces and the will to game came back slowly but surely. What I’m saying is maybe you need some healing before the next adventure?
Spot on.
So much has happened in my life - lots of stresses, changes, and ups and downs - lately. And it has all happened SO fast, and in such rapid succession. I feel like I’ve been treading water for a long while and barely have enough energy to gasp for gulps of air.
I just homebrewed my Wii and have been having a blast playing GameCube and Wii games I never had but always wanted to try.
Naruto Clash of Ninja 4 for example is a PHENOMENAL game that I had never even heard of before two days ago
What did/do you play games for? Think about the moments you enjoyed the most and why. Just to name a few motivations: are you looking to get a sense of improvement and complete challenges, are you looking to live a fantasy, exploration, get a story via a unique medium, flex creativity or be a part of a community. I find myself having different reasons to want to play depending on my mood.
Once you find your reason, you can start searching for what satisfies that. I strongly suggest you avoid triple a titles and focus mainly on indie.
You mention botw resparking things, from what I hear that game really appeals to those who want to express creativity and those who like exploration. I can’t help much with the creativity (not really what I like) but for exploration I can recommend hollowknight (a metroidvania that I lost myself in for days) or outerwilds (a space sim with narrative based mystery and light puzzle elements, I highly recommend you go in as blind as possible)
I do two basic things when I get on a rut. I replay a favorite RPG with mods and a very specific roleplaying theme. For example I played fallout 4, console commanded myself a million caps, high charisma, and liw intelligence. I played through as a rich idiot. The other thing I do is find a game way outside my normal style and see if I can figure out the appeal that it has to other people.
