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For some reason the bank won’t let me take out an 8 figure loan to start my international piracy business. I’ll be starting up a gofundme.
All you need to do is find a stretchy guy made of rubber
You’ve got to stare hard at the bank manager and say, “look at me. I’m the borrower now.”
Yeah I’ll just take a small loan of 20 million dollars from my normal worker parents…
I love the idea of a bunch of rando’s purchasing LNG shipping and just thinking… step one, done… step two, profit!
it’s so fantastically complex it’s hilarious
And then draw the rest of the fucking owl
Step 1: Buy LNG tanker
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit
Where do you even get a loan for just a million?
Probably not out of line for a house these days. You can borrow the down payment from your boomer parents if they take out a heloc on their house.
Payments are going to be a bitch at about $10k per month though with insurance and taxes lumped into escrow.
man starting a business is hard
One of my high school teachers retired and bought a river paddle boat to put a restaurant on it. The idea was to cruise the local bay and provide a nice dining experience. Two years into owning it, the hull started leaking quite substantially. Apparently, the hull had not been maintained properly over the years and was now dangerously thin. The boat ended up being scrap. I guess they weren’t bringing in enough profit with it sailing, they didn’t even try to land lock it.
I hear LNG tankers are the new Bitcoin.
You misspelled methane the natural gas that kills the populous as lng.
Eh. Methane is worse when it’s released as a gas than when it’s burned and released as carbon dioxide. If you drive by oil refineries in Beaumont, TX, you’ll see them burning off methane–flaring–because it’s a byproduct of oil refining. Is any of this great, or even good? No; any way you slice it, it’s all greenhouse gasses. OTOH, there are far fewer other pollutants with LNG than there are from coal-fired plants, and we don’t yet have the capacity to generate sufficient power using renewables or nuclear. (Meanwhile, a lot of hydro power is at risk because climate change has shifted rain and snow patterns so that rivers and reservoirs are drying up so that we’re losing that source of renewable power.)
yeeeah but:
the impacts of methane releases which spike with burnoff impact the atmosphere for decades. we’re continuing to feed it.
coal - for all it’s wretched problems from heavy metals to black lungs - added particulates that cut down on absorbed heat in the atmosphere.we’re seeing the same unanticipated effect with the move from the worst bunker fuel (high sulphate) may let in more heating energy because we’re taking the worst fine particulate exhausts out… https://www.carbonbrief.org/analysis-how-low-sulphur-shipping-rules-are-affecting-global-warming/
some times you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. That said, both the transition to cleaner fuel and the end of coal need to happen, but also we need to start planning for the end of LNG as well.
good luck, have fun friends
I remember the 80s when high sulphur coal was the norm, and we had problem with the sulphur emissions causing acid rain; I def. don’t want to return to that…
Related - I saw a science alert that speculated that we could buy time to cut carbon emissions by seeding the atmosphere with superfine diamond dust; it would both block and reflect solar radiation. The downside? About $250T in cost.
I remember the 80s when high sulphur coal was the norm, and we had problem with the sulphur emissions causing acid rain; I def. don’t want to return to that…
ah yes, my youth…
edit: $250 per ton sounds cheap if it works.
of course it’ll probably blind the penguins or some other horrible shit. monkey’s paw we live in and all.
Be me Get job as Outbound Sales Consultant for ENGIE No idea how to sell LNG tankers to general public Post to LinkedIn that people should just buy one
Maurice Tessier Barrera - Outbound Sales for Energy Markets - Energy Leads | LinkedIn
Damn, I’m in my late 30s, too late *sadface
Hello I would like to go into $19.990.000 debt please. I need to buy a LNG tanker for reasons…
Look at you with $10,000 spare. Show-off
I am living the dream!
If you have $20 million you can just live off the interest and chillLine must go upI’m not that well to do, but I hold my own. I only got 3 old CNG tankers. My kid’s kid’s kid’s kid’s kids will probably have the tankers paid off in no time!.. Think about it! Say you got 3 kids, and they get 3 kids each, so that’s 3^5 =243! So like $100k each! That’s 5 short years of eating top ramen every day.
Am about $140k in debt right now. Housing ain’t cheap
I’ll take one, when it gets cheaper than a house.
Hang on, I’ll ask my bank to give me a small loan of $20 million. I’m sure they will not laugh in my face and tell me to go fuck myself.
Nah, they’ll laugh at first, but then you’ll get taken upstairs and Jamie will open a bottle of your favorite Tequila, telling you that he thinks you need an even bigger credit line than you applied for.
Wait, you don’t run a wildly unprofitable company “worth” several billion dollars where you can use your equity as collateral for the credit line? Welp, sounds like a you problem.
Not a me problem. I blame my parents for trying to be good humans and teaching values instead of just enslaving people in apartheid-ridden emerald mines.
Tbh this particular joke was a reference to the WeWork fiasco and specifically the show WeCrashed, where the founder goes into JPMorgan Chase and asks for a 50 million line of credit after being pre-approved for 20k, then asks the clerk to google him and then gets brought to the bank’s CEO instead.
Of course, Adam Neumann was also a huge fraud, comparable to Musk in that both have been known to promise the world and deliver shit.
The guy I had told me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and I ended up finding $20 mil in my sock
Power of hard work and sacrifice right there, a true testament to the spirit of capitalism. If you can, all can.
Thank you mister president. I really want to thank you for what you’ve done for social media, politics, reality tv, MaCaulay Culkin, Chik-Fil-A, McDonald’s, diapers, Elongated Muskrats, (REDACTED), (REDACTED), (REDACTED), and the rest of you know whats up (REDACTED)
(END OF TRANSMISSION)
Maybe If you cut back on morning coffee and avocado toasts, you wouldn’t need a $20 million loan.
The way economy is heading, this might be an accurate statement.
Have you tried asking mom and dad?
Just ask your Dad, dude.
Buying a boat is a famously good investment
It’s such a good investment that it’s why insurance was invented.
Thanks for the advice!
Break Out Another Thousand
Dump terrifying greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere at industrial levels, go into debt if you have to.
I’m contributing valiantly to this cause with my farts
You basically just described the energy/economic strategy of most of the world’s countries…
